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April 24, 2004
Since this ordeal with Lichen
Sclerosus has begun, I've been doing a lot of
thinking about my vagina. I prefer not to call it a vulva, even though
I
know that is the proper technical term..just doesn't seem to be me.
Anyhow, I have had this skin tag for a while. To be honest, I wasn't
quite
sure if it was an unnatural growth or if it was part of my clitoris.
I am a
highly educated, intelligent woman, but when it has come to knowing
my own
body, I am a complete ignoramous. And more to the point, I've been
lazy
about educating myself in this area, in large part, because I've been
embarrased to discuss this with anyone. My friends and I can talk about
vibrators and anal sex, but our own anatomy has seemed to be off limits.
The
truth is, my friends are as clueless as I am!
Over the last few months, have sex seemed to be less and less pleasurable
for me. I was always very sensitive down there, but lately it had been
nearly impossible for my boyfriend to touch me orally or otherwise
there,
even with the lightest touch.
One morning, I could not take the anxiety any longer and had my boyfriend
inspect me. He wasn't sure what was what. He said that in his experience
all
vaginas looked different, so we were perplexed.
I went to see my gyno later that week, who confirmed I had a skin
tag or
polyp as they call it. Gave me a shot to numb the area. (I screamed
loud
enough to shake the office waiting room!) and removed the skin tag
to send
it out for a biopsy. It was at that point that she noticed the skin
in the
area seemed white, the skin over the hood of my clitoris has begun
to fuse
to the clitoris and suggested that she test for Lichen Sclerosuss.
One week later my doctor confirmed the diagnosis of LS. Told me it
was not
contageous, but was more of a skin "condition" not unlike
eczema. No known
cause, no real cure. I turned to the internet and read everything I
could
find on the disorder, and scared the shit out of myself from the case
studies of women with advance stages of the disease. In some instances,
the
labia disappears, the skin turns white everywhere and, and it can extend
to
your anus and other parts of your body.
I am currently applying Clobestol, a steroid cream to the area. No
major
change yet. I have been spending a lot of time with a hand mirror,
trying to
figure out what has actually fused together, and what it's "supposed" to
look like. Still a bit in the dark to be honest.
My boyfriend and I have begun to have sex again, and while there is
no real
problem in that area physically, mentally I have felt a hesitation. I no longer feel any embarrassment about my body. I feel very strongly
that
I have a duty to other women to share my experience, as I know there
are
others who have a variety of vulval issues they are as clueless about
as me.
I will check in and report again in another 4 weeks to discuss my progress.
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