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masturbation 39
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tell us about
your earliest experience of masturbation...
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i touched myself a
lot as a kid. i remember i had some salve called...get ready for this
sexy name...pragmatar. it came in a green glass jar. and i would rub
and rub...didn't come but i enjoyed the rubbing.
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when you
were growing up - what did your mother tell you about masturbation? did
you talk about it with your friends?
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i'm 42,
my mom was born in 29, so thing's were fairly uptight and undiscussed.
the way my mom did talk about sex seemed more competitive than connecting.
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what do you
think about; who do you fantasize about when you masturbate?
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it's rather
trite, alas: tom cruise. last time: Severus Snape. sometimes the thoughts
of the day. sometimes inappropriate people who would be too embarrassing
to mention
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how do you
typically set the mood, do you use sex-toys? - describe the scene...props,
setting, soundtrack, etc.
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i recently
got a terrific vibrator (socalled soft tissue massager) from brookstone.
fabulous. making sounds helps. moisturizer can be helpful.
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got any great
masturbation stories to tell?
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just
that i didn't come until my forties! can you believe! all my friends
tried to cure me. i felt too fearful that a vibrator wouldn't work and
so i never really explored that option fully. also, i was on antidepressants
that successfully destroyed my libidinal energy. sometimes i have to
give up pills for awhile, as well as the benefits of boosted seratonin,in
order to get off. this is a crummy either/or to have to choose.
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what would/did
you tell your daughter about masturbation...
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since i will
most likely never procreate, this would have to be a hypothetical. i
would tell her it's great. i would try to honor her need for privacy,
while being accessable for a chat. i'd let her know that i'm there if
she needs me, and if she wants to be left alone, i can do that too. i'd
like my daughter to know about about self-care, relaxation, energy balance
so that she felt independent, interdependent, powerful and phenomenal.
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this conversation
makes me think...
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how
charged a topic sex is. just between the women in my generation in my
family of origin (ie, my sisters) it is not possible to speak frankly
and generously. i feel sad that it's been so difficult, happy when it's
fun. sex is so distorted by our culture. i hope that grrls can be okay
about their bodies in all manner of ways, including the ability to explore
their sexuality.
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